Tonight Newt, Gingrich, Mitt Romney, and Rick Santorum compete for an opportunity to “sweep the South” and claim a win in the Alabama and Mississippi primaries.  Ever since the sun set on “Super Tuesday”, which, in all honesty, was rather boring, he media has been focusing on the Dixieland like Wile E. Coyote on the Roadrunner, constantly attempting to defy logic to make these primaries actually matter.  Let’s just be blunt -  the only person that is legitimately excited that the Presidential Candidates are trying to charm the voters of the Deep Fried South is Barack Obama himself.  Why?  Because the day that President Obama wins either one of the Southern states is the day that you can go ahead and cancel your plans for 2013, securing yourself in the knowledge that the Mayans are right.

Tonight we are going to see primaries in states where 52% of GOP voters believe that Barack Obama is a Muslim, where every single candidate has more or less been forced to give a speech on their favorite type of grits (the consensus among all three was “cheesy”), and where fighting for gun rights and against gay marriage is prioritized above fighting for quality education and equal opportunity for all citizens (disclaimer - I love my guns, just not more than educational equity).

So, in the interim, yes this does make a difference in the GOP race, because if Mitt wins both states, he is TRULY inevitable, Gingrich is out, and Santorum is left to regroup.  However, in the long run, in the true grand scheme of things, tonight is pointless.  If we have learned anything, it is that over 40% of voters this evening do not identify as strong conservatives, which means that either there are a lot of disenfranchised former Obama voters (who will likely go for Romney), or there are a ton of Democrats attempting to sabotage the results (a good thing for Newt and Santorum).

So, as the campaign heads south, and the polls close in 30 seconds, it is time to sit down, to buckle up, and to watch the three main contenders duke it out once again as the most contested GOP primary in recent history continues.  Updats to come.

The polls are closed - Cue Wolf Blitzer’s Screaming.

Roll Tide my friends, Roll Tide.

**Santorum ahead by 5% in Alabama, Mitt ahead by the same in Mississippi**  Cheese grits works.